IssuesMaking Marriage Something It's Not

Other Relationships v. Marriage

There are various romantic relationships in our culture, but none of them are equal to marriage because they do not provide the same benefits to society as a married husband and wife. Therefore, redefining marriage not only harms marriage, it harms society.

Despite what same-sex activists’ claim, men and women are not interchangeable.

The richest and most successful same-sex couple still cannot provide a child something that the poorest and most struggling spouses can provide: a mom and a dad…I am here to say no, having a mom and a dad is a precious value in its own right and not something that can be overridden, even if a gay couple has lots of money, can send a kid to the best schools, and raises the kid to be an Eagle Scout. - Robert Oscar Lopez


See also:
Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting

Growing Up With Two Moms, the Untold Children's View  

Dear Justice Kennedy: An Open Letter from the Child of a Loving Gay Parent

After living in a same-sex relationship for years, Doug says, “To be fully formed, children need to be free to generously receive from and express affection to parents of both genders. Genderless marriages deny this fullness.” - Read his story.


  • 2x 

    Children with same-sex parents are more than 2 times more likely to suffer emotional and developmental problems than those with opposite-sex parents on a range of related outcomes, including predicted risk of psychological disorders, learning disability, and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

  • 4x

    Children with married moms and dads are 4 times less likely to be on public assistance than children with a lesbian mother.

  • 3.5x

    Children with married moms and dads are 3.5 times more likely to be employed than children with a lesbian parent and almost 3 times more than children with a homosexual dad.

  • Least Likely

    Children with married moms and dads are the least likely to be involved in crimes or arrests.

  • Least Likely

    Children with married moms and dads are least likely to be touched sexually by a parent or other adult.

  • 4x

    Children with married moms and dads are 4 times less likely to be forced to have sex against their will than children with a lesbian parent and 3 times less likely to be forced to have sex against their will than children with a gay father.

Cohabitation typically involves a live-in boyfriend or girlfriend. While test driving marriage may seem like a good idea, research has shown otherwise.

“With contraception, sex could be, and was, separated from marriage. This severing resulted in… widespread cohabitation…Marriage is fundamentally a pre-political institution—not simply a creature of law—rooted in a natural union of a man and a woman that is ordered to family life and childbearing and childrearing. The political community has very important interests affected by this institution—it is a deeply integral element of the common good...” Christopher Wolfe, The Public Discourse


See more ways that a married mom and dad benefit society.

Polyamory is a romantic group relationship involving whatever gender composition the participants find agreeable, while polygamy is typically one man with multiple wives. With the erosion of the understanding of marriage, these relationships are becoming more widespread.

Statistics and Quotes:

  • 500,000
    There are an estimated 500,000 American polyamorous households.

  • 500,000
    There are an estimated 500,000 polygamist relationships in the U.S.

  • “There are many more single men in polygamous societies; polygamous societies have higher rates of violent crime.” – Christopher Kaczor

  • “The West has moved from a cultural norm of intact married religious family life to, increasingly, a norm of a religious, sexually polymorphous, serial polygamy.” – Henry Potrykus, Patrick Fagan

  • One prominent polygamist community in British Columbia, after the creation of same-sex marriage, proclaimed that there was now no principled basis for the state’s continued criminalization of polygamy.

  • ​Brown v. Utah
    In the case of Brown v. Utah, the reality TV family from “Sister Wives,” a judge claimed that portions of Utah’s restriction on polygamy was unconstitutional. The case is now on appeal.


Dig Deeper


Dr. Mark Regnerus’s research on the adult children of parents who have same-sex relationships is published in the July 2012 issue of Social Science Research. His follow-up response to critics, the research, and all the data can be found at his website.

The Alliance

Learn more about The Alliance, those who partner with Alliance Defending Freedom to protect religious freedom, on our Alliance page.

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